My Peaceful Home

Lately I've been thinking a lot about peace and what a peaceful home really encompasses. I don't think that I would have ever described my childhood home as "peaceful." Even to this day, I do not visit my parents for peace. I visit them for a judgement/advice free fellowship and a wonderful fresh breath of comfort. I will never take those aspects of our relationship for granted. However, when you put the 4 of us together, I don't think we had very many peaceful days. I'm thankful for this because I am really, really, really good at getting into fights with people and acting as if nothing happened 5 minutes later. Some may see that as a bad quality but I like it. I am also extremely forgiving.
Anyway, because peace is not something that comes very natural to me, I have always strived to attain it. Thankfully, through God, I have found it undeniably.  My life is and has always been (like I'm sure most of yours) filled with drama. Between my family, friends, relationships, finances, indecision, worry, etc, etc, I'm not sure how I ever feel peace at the end of the day, but I do. I feel a completeness and wholeness. I feel so very sure that I'm right where I'm supposed to be. I feel as if my purpose has been restored and that no matter what worries pop up in my mind, that they are insignificant due to the fact that I will be okay. I know this.

So back to this peaceful home that I'm creating. I've decided to set some rules to make sure that I can hold myself accountable for my role.

#1) Always make sure that your home is as comfortable and cozy as possible. It's amazing how peaceful it is to sit on the couch at the end of the day, a clean house, candles lit, pillows, blankets, music, a good movie, etc, and to know that this is home. I always want my house to be warm and welcoming...personal, organized, and full of love. To me, this is peace.

#2) Get over anger as quickly as possible. I love the scripture that talks about not going to bed angry and I am guilty of this a lot in my past. I was rereading it today and forgot just how meaningful it is to remember that anger gives the devil a foothold in your life. Looking back I can see this happening so many times and never changing my behavior. Now, I realize that it is my sole responsibility to make sure that I let it go before I go to bed. Whatever IT may be.

#3) Stop rushing.  I am a very punctual person. I don't like being late and one of my biggest pet peeves in life is being rushed (Matt knows this all to well). I won't even go in a store if I know I'm going to feel as if I have a time schedule. However, I also do things very quickly. I talk fast, type fast, text fast, cook fast, clean fast...I'm always on the go, and always planning my next move. Basically everything I do is at a good pace. In some aspects of my life this is wonderful. I have more down time because I don't lolly gag. I have more time for fun because when I'm working I do it 100% from the time I start until I'm finished. But, I also rush through some things. One of the biggest areas I see this in is Angelyn's bedtime. I am tired, I want to see Matt for a little while, I usually just want to relax. So I'm guilty of being impatient and rushing. Don't get me wrong, she will come out of her room 50 times if I don't lay down the bedtime rules but I'm going to learn to slow down and enjoy it...to find peace in it....to savor these moments.

#4) Streamline your parenting. I really feel a lot of people's homes are not peaceful because they have no real parenting plan. I think that this is probably the most important rule hen it comes to parenting (for my family atleast). Growing up, I didn't have much consistency and I slowly saw the negative affects that it had on my life. So the first aspect of this rule is, just that, consistency. I want my expectations in all areas to be known and to stay the constant. I feel it gives our kids a huge sense of security. Life could be so much more peaceful if we gave our children clear and concise expectations and expected obedience. A huge part of this for me is manners and the respect of our home and other people's homes.

 I really feel that the second aspect of parenting that I want to commit to is consistency with consequences. I don't want to ever tell Angelyn that I am going to do _____ if she does ______ and have no real intention of doing it. If your child cannot trust your word how are they ever supposed to know what is expected of them and when they should obey?

I want to be aware of my "exceptions" becoming "expectations." For example, if I let Angelyn have a drink in her bed one night I want to be careful that she's not going to throw a tantrum if she's not allowed to do it the next. I think this has to be based on your own judgement and tailored to each individual child. We do pretty well with this already.

Lastly, I don't want my parenting to be a democracy. So often we get caught up arguing with our kids and don't even take a step back to think, "Hey, I'm the parent here. This doesn't even need to be happening." Keep your expectations clear and final. I know that there is always need for exception and always a time to listen to your child's opinions, but for the most part I think that this will eliminate many open doors for yelling, arguing, and frustration.

#5) Speak with kindness. It is such a simple idea ,but so often is not evaulated within our lives. Every once in a while I will find myself barking at Angelyn or telling Matt to do something without even saying please. Then I have to stop and ask myself, "What kind of example of kindness am I setting for the people I love the most?"


#6) Fill your home with postive words and thoughts. This will be the last one since I am falling asleep, but it is so, so important. The things we talk about, watch, listen to, and think all either increase our peace or steal it. I am in a constant battle to keep each one of these in check to make sure that they are adding to my life in a positive way. When life gets rough it is natural for us to constantly bring up the negativity that's going on or to get lost in negative thinking. I want to continue to evaluate what's coming out of my mouth and into my head to ensure I am able to spread peace to those around me.

Picnic Fun

One of my favorite things to do when the sun is going down is to bring dinner outside. Angelyn and I love to have picnics and a couple weeks ago Matt and I had a sushi picnic for date night. So last night I cooked a little BBQ and we threw and blanket down and shared some time together.

I think Angelyn fed half of hers to the dog, lol. She's not much of a meat eater.

Such a ham.

There's something about sharing a simple meal as a family that is irreplacable to me. These are the times that it make it all worthwhile. I love her her beyond words.

Wedding Planning Month 1

When I look back and realize it's only been one month since Matt proposed it seems unreal. In that month I have booked two different venues, bought my dress, found my centerpieces, got the food and drinks taken care of, booked a DJ, picked out my bridesmaids dresses, a flower girl dress, ordered save the dates, found invitations, planned the honeymoon, and had my dream engagement ring custom made. I'm a girl who knows what she wants and I've been super busy! :) Thank God for wonderful friends because I would have not been able to do all this without some team work...esp from Hannah who I probably ask 100 questions a day, lol.

If you know me very well at all you know that when I have something to do I dive in full force until it is finished and then I relax...be it my house, school, work, etc. It usually consumes my mind and I cannot rest until it is accomplished. That can be a great attribute of mine or a problematic one. My plan is to have the wedding all planned in about 3 months and to spend the next 5 months relaxing and thinking about how wonderful it will be. :)

After a little drama and finding out I could not have the wedding in St. Augustine, I have to say I am so thankful. Our new venue is perfect for what I wanted, much closer, a fraction of the price, and honestly, I just fell in love with it. I did spend a good 4-5 hours crying my eyes out on my office floor, but once I picked myself up and got back to work I realized that this is what was meant to be....and because I'm a big believer in buying yourself gifts, lol...with some of the money we'll be saving Matt and I found a jeweler to make my dream ring. :):) My smile could not be any bigger. It will be here hopefully next week.

Matt and I spent last Friday's date night exploring the venue and taking it all in. I had booked it without him seeing it first because I already knew he would love it. He has told me from day 1 that this is my day and he will do anything to make it happen the way that I want. Perfect thing to say as usual.

Sooo...It's going good. :)

The Engagement Celebration

I wanted to document a little about our trip to the Keys on here so that I can always look back when we're married and remember how amazing it was. :) On the way down I thought it would be fun to stop by Homestead and show Matt the house that I grew up in. I had some of my favorite childhood memories there and it is always very nostalgic when I visit. It's always amazing to me how a flood of memories can come over you by seeing something from your past...whether it be an old boyfriend, seeing your old school, or a house. I hadn't seen the house in like 6 years. It looks so small to me now. I remembered after Hurricane Andrew there was a school bus that had been dropped at the end of our street and we used to play in it every day. Now, it is replaced with a house. I remembered our tree house, our neighbors, taking baths in the lake when we had no water, lol. I was pretty excited about it.

The drive was beautiful. The water down there is always a gorgeous palette of purples, teals, and blues. It is unlike water I've ever seen anywhere else. We had a great time together as always....singing, talking, trying to count all of the Keys, me telling him all of my memories in the Keys as a kid, lol. I'm forever taken back by how much fun we have together doing absolultely nothing.

When we finally got to our bed and breakfast it wasn't quite ready for us so we just started walking down Duval with no plans. Our first stop, two buildings down from where we were staying, Paradise Tattoo. We both knew we wanted to get a tattoo while we were down there. So we talked a little about it and made an appointment for that night. Next stop, Hogs Breath....my favorite. We had the most amazing fish, listened to the live band, and sat in the beautiful sunshine. I envy the locals there that get to do that every day.

After going back to the bed and breakfast, which by the way was so cute and just perfect for us, I suprised Matt by finding a company to deliver champagne, chocolate, and rose petals to our room. He was so happy. :) The lady who took us to our room was even happier, lol. She asked us if she could take a picture of us on the bed, haha...only in Key West. So we had agreed to share a bathroom with two other rooms for a 1/2 price stay and it worked out perfectly because we didn't see anyone else there except for happy hour, lol.

And since we're on a wonderful vow of abstience until we're married we drank our champagne and talked. :-P ...(For those of you who had placed your bets, lol). Have I ever mentioned how much I love this man?



Next stop, sunset and Mallory Square. We had planned to have a big elaborate dinner while we were down there to celebrate but once we got down to there we both looked at eachother and realized we'd much rather have hot dogs. :)

 And they were delicious! All the street performers were out and even though we thought it was going to rain the sunset turned out beautiful.

 

Before we left, Brian told me to make sure I took Matt to see the Pete and Wayne show. I didn't actually think we'd have time or that they'd even be in Key West on our trip, but turns out yet again that we were super lucky. We left Mallory Square to go walk around a bit before our tattoo appointment. We walk into Sloppy Joes and they were just setting up. Only two seats left? At the bar right in front of the stage. Perfect.

We were laughing to the point of crying, lol We even called the tattoo shop to ask if we could be late because we didn't want to leave.

So we chose to each get half of a quote on our wrists. A quote from The Notebook which is even 100 times more meaningful to me. :) Matt's says, "I am who I am," and mine says, "Because of you." We both really love it. We are always saying how we were always meant to be together and we never knew why we were the way we are until we met eachother because we are perfect compliments. Our weaknesses are eachother's strengths to a tee...and it couldn't have worked any other way.

It was Matt's first but I hope he wants more in the future because I love a man with tattoos, lol.

After getting them done I had another little suprise. I wasn't sure exactly where it was but eventually we found it...like 2 minutes before out reservation. Better Than Sex...a fantastic dessert bar where it's so dark you have to read the menu by flashlight. They offer only desserts and wines and it is amazing. You can have no more than 4 people in your party and even at 11:30pm it was packed. We had a chai cheesecake with white chocolate mousse and caramel on top and it was probably the best thing I've ever eaten, lol .

The next morning we walked around and did some touristy stuff and then spent some time laying on the beach. :) Paradise.

We had lunch at a restaurant I had been looking for the whole time we were there. It just so happened that we picked up a 2 4 1 drink coupon at a little store and the guy ran after us telling us how wonderful the food was there. Turns out when we got there it was the place I was talking about all along. :)

By that time my legs felt like I had ran a marathon and I was just about ready to sleep in the car for the next 6 hours. The water going back was just as beautiful so we stopped at Holiday Isle for one last glimpse of what the Keys is all about.

"At the beach, life is different. Time doesn't move hour to hour but mood to moment. We live by the currents, plan by the tides, and follow the sun."

It was perfection.

Painting with Pool Noodles

Finding different things for the kids to paint with is one of our new goals. Today we used a pool noodle cut in half. :)

The supplies

Experimenting.

This was great way to get them talking about mixing the primary colors to make other colors. They kept dipping noodles in several paints to create different color combos.

...then we cleaned out Hannah's garage. Success. :)

April Snow Day

So me and Hannah were hanging out the other night and decided we want to start doing more "crafty, messy" playdates lol. Here are the results of day 1. :)

It's snowing in April. :) ....and in Florida!

I think Hannah was a little excited. :)

Snow angels! 

Then I got attacked.

It was so fun! It only took a little while to clean up and I'm sure the kids will talk about it for a long time!

I'm Getting Married!

First off give me a second to squeal in excitement, lol. Matt told me last Wednesday that he needed to come over and "have a talk with me." I'm thinking, "Oh great, what did I do?" lol. Not that Matt ever scolds me or has really anything mean to say but his tone didn't sound all that cheerful. So I'm sitting in Angelyn's room playing with her when he comes over. He asks if I can talk to him on the porch. I'm definitely NOT expecting what he is about to do...sneaky man he is. :) We start talking a little about life and he busts out with, "So I just got back from your father's house and I asked him for his blessing for you to be my wife."...Got down on one knee, told me how amazing our life is, and proposed!! Shock of my life! The first thing I said to him was, "Are you sure?!"...I never say the right things, lol. Of course I said yes. I love this man more than I even knew possible. I am still amazed that I'm going to spend my life with him.

While I'm still in this completely overwhelming, intoxicating moment he explains to me that he gave me his gradmother's engagement ring. Then I really couldn't function. I'm pretty romantic as most of you know but that literally took my breath away and brought me to tears and all of those wonderful things. What an honor! He loved his grandmother sooo much and this ring means the world to me.


I love the way everything happened. We had already planned to go to Key West for the weekend where he had originally planned to propose, but said that he really felt like there was no more perfect time than right when he did it. And it was perfect. :)

Once I regained consciousness, I checked my phone to secretly text my girlfriends and my dad had already sent me a text saying, "Have any exciting news you may want to share with us?" lol Way to kill a suprise if he hadn't asked yet. My family was thrilled and so was Angelyn. She kept talking about a wedding over and over again and how she's going to throw flowers for me to walk on and have a pink dress, lol. So freaking cute.


We left early Friday morning for Key West to celebrate which turned out to be the most romantic and fun weekend probably ever. I'll write about that a little later. :)

Hello Life.

I have offically been off of work from HOJ for 4 days now (with the exception of face painting on Saturday and working from there all day on my laptop on Sunday, lol). I'm feeling more and more like myself again. I'm don't feel like the crazy emotional wreck of a person that had been creeping out at any given time of day. I think I couldn't have picked a better week than this one. It is spring break which means no soccer, no gymnastics, no church class...no obligations. It's an amazing feeling to wake up in the morning and know that after working from home I am free to CHOOSE what I'd like to fill my time with.

I've been working on Easter because the Friday and Saturday before it Matt and I are going to Key West. I'm in a state of extreme anticipation, lol. It's our first vacation just the two of us. I always look forward to a different pace of life when I'm down there...even if it is only 2 days! Anyway, I always do Easter at my house so I am trying to get things in order. Sooo I made an egg garland yesterday. :)

Step 1 complete. :)

Matt repainted my master bath before work yesterday too. Now, instead of brown it's pumpkin. We still have to put on a second coat but I really like it. It ties into the whole "fall" color palette of the house.

And in other news, I woke up the other morning to find blood all over my bed. Gross. Turns out our precious Cupcake is in heat and how has to wear a diaper for a couple weeks. Poor baby.

That's all for now. Hope you guys have a beautiful week!

Bittersweet Life Changes

My mind feels like it's been stuck in a tornado the past couple of weeks. Now that I have finally made some concrete decisions (along with my right hand man) I feel stable enough to write about them. My first big life change is that after a year and a half Matt and I have decided to no longer live together. In fact, he is moving out today. Bitter...but sweet. The few people we have confided in have asked us if we're fighting or what's going on, lol. For the record our relationship is great. We are so in love and still on the path we feel that God has laid out for us. However, through conviction and lots of prayer we have decided that we are going to wait until we are married to have a home together. I'm sure that sounds crazy to a lot of people. I feel it is the ultimate testament to our love of one another and our love for God. We are to be obedient in all areas of life, not just the ones that come easy and slowly we are making progress toward this. We are happy with our decision and think our marriage will be extremely exciting because of it. I think it will be like dating all over again...picking eachother up to go out, making dinner at the other person's house, etc. I'm so thankful to have fallen in love with such a wonderdful man who has the same outlook and values in life as me. :)

The second super big decision I've made is to leave House of Joe...my place of employment for almost 7 years. I have been wrestling with this decision for almost 3 years (ever since Angelyn was born) but was never in a position to leave completely. I have always felt my calling is in the home, taking care of my family, and focusing on raising my family as the main priority. I kept waiting for peace about whatever decision I made and today after a little emotional breakdown I knew what I had to do. My boss is wonderful person. She made me feel so good about it that I sat and cried for like an hour, lol. I'm a sap. It will be a sad day to know that I will have ended a beautiful 7 year run, but I'm so excited for what lies ahead. More time with my family, more time in general = less stress = happy Ashley! ;)

In other news- some of our customers are wack and I'm cracking up watching Paul and Dennis deal with them. :) haha

Happy Life Changes Day!

Sunflowers and Thunderstorms

Last night (date night), Matt and I went to watch the full moon rise on the beach. He has never seen it before and the last time I went it was beyond beautiful. We were greeted instead by a wonderful thunderstorm. Lightning was bolting all over the sky over the water which to me was even more amazing than the moon itself (which we only caught a glimpse of).

I love how the moon looks the sun when it rises.

Getting rained on, lol.

Today was quite eventful as always. During soccer this morning Angelyn and Landon were so cute. They were hugging eachother on the field and Hannah had to keep them in line, lol. I had to leave early so we could attend a homeschool 101 class at Knowledge Exchange (awesome store for those of you who haven't been). I LOVED it. It was so informative and I think I've chosen the curriculum I want to use with her. That is a miracle in itself because I've been researching and researching all the different ones trying to figure out which one would work best for the family I want and the values I want to instill.

Then, me and Ang spent the afternoon planting plants and learning more about spring time.

       

We planted 13 giant Sunflower plants.  

   

      Angelyn loves taking pictures of me :)

 Don't mind her PJs, lol. She wanted to wear them.

Sunny days.

My little helper watering the jasmine we planted out back.

..and we started training this beast on another trellis, lol.

I just love, love, love this time of year. It makes me so happy! :)